Knowing when to tip, when not to, and how much is always confusing. I can’t tell you how many people ask me about the “rules” of tipping, and not just about tipping me! I get asked questions about hairdressers, nail techs, and even a dental student once! So let’s get it out there. Let’s talk about tipping.
First I want to state the I hate tipping as a principal. And not just on a level that I have to do math to figure out how much to tip. No I hate the entire concept of tipping because the notion that I should somehow be obligated to pay more for a service than stated seems ludicrous. If you needed more money for the service why not just make the price more? Add to that the lack of a standard tipping manual, and the sheer guilt/confusion inherent in the current tipping system and you may find yourself nodding in agreement and saying, “Yeah I hate tipping too!”.
To me the only time I should think about tipping is if someone has gone above and beyond the required service. When I go to a restaurant and order a meal good service should be included in the price. Now if I have an opera singing waiter, or a waitress who notices that I’ve barely touched the “interesting sounding” side order I’d never tried before and asks me if I’d like to exchange it for something I might like more, or a waiter who helps me special order food I’m not allergic too by speaking to the chef for me (all of whom were Cracker Barrel waitstaff BTW)…well THAT all deserves tipping! That is extra service. Bringing me my food while it’s hot, refilling my beverage, and doing it all with a smile…well that’s what I’m paying for. Right?
Yes…and No.
In America almost any service based industry worker lives on their tips. They aren’t just “gravy” or “extra”, it’s how the bills get paid and food gets on the table. You see you might be paying $50 for a meal, but that waitress is only making $2.50 an hour. You maybe paying $125 for that facial, but your technician is making $20 on that service and NO HOURLY WAGE. You might pay $200 for a good cut and color, but your hairdresser is making 20% of that and NO HOURLY WAGE. All these service jobs also don’t come with benefits, paid time off, or any other perks like sick time or 401K plans. It sucks. I think it’s crap, but it’s how the system currently is. I heartily wish that we would throw the tipping system out the window, and pay people a fair wage. Leave tipping for those extra special moments and not as an annoying obligation, but until then please keep in mind that your tips really ARE important.
Now I am not saying you should tip for incompetence. If someone sucks tip them less, or don’t tip them…but tell them why. If you don’t they will just think you are cheap. You don’t have to be mean about it, but an honest word or two about how you wish you had been treated or what you thought was missing can help improve a good service employee.
Alright so what are the tipping rules? Well there really just aren’t that many which is why tipping is so darned hard! The New York Daily News just put out an excellent article on tipping (special thanks to the great Waiter Rant blog for pointing it out) that doesn’t even talk about Estheticians and Massage Therapists. Be sure to check out the article, but here’s what they are missing.
Esthetician & Massage Therapists: $10-$20 on a facial or body service depending on the service of the technician. If you are doing numerous services or getting a wax 20% of the regular price for the services is customary. If you get the service for a discount please don’t penalize your technician for your bounty by cutting into their tip. Trust me, they probably get a percentage of what you pay, so if you pay less they make less!
Doctors offices and Medi-Spas: Tipping in this area is tricky. If the tech is on salary then No. If the tech is on commission then Yes. You have to ask. Just say to your techinician “Is it customary for me to tip you?” Don’t be embarassed! They will thank you for asking and let you know.
Tipping the owner or a sole proprieter: The answer is you choose. Someone in this catagory should make sure they charge enough to give themselves a fair wage. But at the same time remember that quite often an owner is struggling to make ends meat. Owning a business isn’t easy and if business is hurting they aren’t getting paid.
I can’t speak for everyone, but as an owner myself, I make sure my prices pay me fairly, but tips are still greatly appriciated because they show me that I am appreciated by you for what I do. For an owner a tip isn’t just money it can be a small gift or a thank you note. I have one client who brings me hand made grape leaves, one who gives me the most thoughtful gifts and cards, and another who sends me more clients – which is truly the best tip of all.
My personal feeling about monetary tips to an owner are that they should go back to the clientele. This is why my tips go into a seperate account that is used for advancing my education, new equipment purchases, and as emergency funds. As any of my clients can tell you I am always training and experimenting, and it’s all thanks to my clients’ generosity.
Hopefully this has shed some light on the ambiguous world of tipping. I know it’s all very complicated and can make people upset and embarrassed, but until America changes the system it’s here to stay.