People sometimes don’t realize how hard they are on themselves and therefore me. When I have a client my goal is to help them become, as I say, “The most perfect you”. What that doesn’t mean is you looking perfect, but you looking as perfect as your genes, skin type, budget, and dedication will allow. Yet people want perfection. They want the current cultural “ideal”, and when they can’t get it – because honestly it’s just not realistic – they have to blame someone. Often that someone is me.

I’d like to say we are new to the pressures of unrealistic beauty standards, but throughout history we have seen the same thing. Whether it be corsets to create a “perfect” figure, or mercury for a white complexion we are willing to hurt ourselves to obtain the “ideal” look. So what if the corset deforms our insides so horribly that we die prematurely? So what if the mercury makes us crazy and ill? So what! Everyone does these things because that’s the only way to be beautiful, right?

Unique to our era is the digital age. Not only can we use cosmetics, clothes, and lighting to make us look our best – we have computers to help us create the false ideal. People read magazines, see billboard ads, watch movies and television. They see X actress and want to look like that. They KNOW that what they are seeing is touched up, perfectly lit, painted, and posed, but it doesn’t stop them from wanting to look the same. It’s almost like a mental illness. We see what we wish we could be and want to be just like it; even though we know that it’s an illusion. Maybe this video by Dove for their Campaign for Real Beauty will help get the message across. In it we see how a model is transformed from her usual self to today’s beauty ideal.

Let’s talk about X actress for a moment. I can’t tell you how many clients want to look perfect without makeup. It’s probably the #1 goal I’m told someone wants. They want to have poreless skin, perfectly even color, rosy cheeks, sparkling eyes, etc.… all naturally. Just like X actress does. Well I work on X actress and you know what I can tell you? She suffers the same problems you do. She wants the same things. The only difference is she understands that almost none of those things come naturally – they are all smoke and mirrors. Without her makeup she has pores, lines, acne, discoloration, birth marks, and moles. Without dedicated skin care she can’t even hide those things with good makeup! Her #1 goal is finding the right application of the right makeup, and the right skin care to get the best skin she can. Her biggest fear is someone seeing her without these things and realizing that she too is human and NOT the ideal.

So why isn’t the ideal the most perfect you? Why is it something else? Would there even be imperfection if everyone just accepted themselves as they are? In a recent episode of the TV Show Bones Dr. Brennan says, “People have done much worse for beauty, foot binding, neck stretching… Any major alteration of our underlying architecture demeans us… You know, we all have aspects of ourselves we all wish were different… Our society puts a premium on beauty, which is common in declining cultures.” I haven’t yet met a person who is happy with themselves. Our culture doesn’t teach us to be. Instead it pushes the unrealistic ideal onto everyone – demeaning each and everyone of us.

Now don’t misunderstand me. There is nothing wrong with wanting to improve yourself. To look good helps you feel good. I have seen first hand how someones life changes because they no longer have acne, or learned a way to cover a large birth mark. But these are all things that fall into the realm of making the most perfect you. These are attainable goals that don’t force you to strive for a perfection that cannot exist. And let’s say it did. Let’s imagine for a moment that you could be the ideal. Are you happy? Yes? You sure about that? Because perfect skin isn’t going to make your mother in law like you more. Reducing your fine lines isn’t going to get you better friends. Trust me, I understand that good looks can get you places, but they don’t change the problems around you.

I am many things to a client. I’m your friend, your shoulder to cry on, your person to bitch at about a bad day, and someone you can share your joys with. I’m the person you see to feel better, look better, and give you hope for a better, more perfect, you. Yet many people mistake me for their savior or a miracle worker. They think that I can solve all their problems with a cream or peel. Although I wish I could take away your fear of aging, or promise that you will be acne free forever, I can’t. What I can promise you is that I will always be there for you 110% with my knowledge, skill, and caring. In many cases I can slow aging and make it less noticeable. I can reverse and repair damage. I can keep your skin healthy. As I said – I can help you be the most perfect you. That’s all I, or anyone, can do.

I make a living helping people look their best. I try and do it with caring and respect for every one’s wants and needs, but sometimes it’s hard on me. I often get the brunt of someones dissatisfaction in their most perfect them because they haven’t reached the unattainable ideal they strive for. I hope in time we will all start embracing our own ideal and not someone else’s. I change the world with my hands, and I hope that one of the changes I make in each and every person I see is to make them see themselves as a beautiful work in progress.